Stepping away from something can be empowering. It can also be a form of hiding. Stepping into something can be yucky. It can also be beautiful and freeing. Last year was one of my toughest yet. A mix bag of highs and lows, joy and depression, laughter and pain. I lost more than I could imagine. My foundation was rocked. If you know me, you know I can handle my shit. If you know me, you know if i’m rocked, it’s a seismic event. I had several hit on the WTF richter scale. But that is life, and life is a hard and glorious gift. Usually, I run to the mat, delve into my breath and journey of self discovery, and bask in that sacredness. Then there are times I run as fast as I can away from the pain. This is ok. This is practice. Last year I made a choice to cultivate a grounding practice of pratyahara, sense withdrawal. I needed to tune out some to tune into more. I needed to step away from the world of social media. I made a choice to dive into my spiritual house, get my shit straight and deal with my pain. I made a choice to be raw, sometimes embarrassingly raw. I’m talking ugly snot-bubble crying raw. I spent my twenties constructing a suit of armor around my center, my thirties deconstructing that armor. Lordy, there are days I miss that armor. But that’s not my path. That’s not my teaching. That’s not my practice. So here I am now. Back in my house, with my new foundation. I’m honoring my pratyahara practice for the freedom it brought me. I’m opening my eyes again, stepping lightly into the opening, sans armor, and rawly sharing with you.
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